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Material things are no replacement for human emotional love

Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.

This week I choose to write about “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Some of you may have heard about this book and some of you may have heard about just the love languages like me through other sources.

I came across the five love languages through Jack Canfield’s book “The Success Principles”. After I came to know about the five love languages, it shifted the way I look at my relationships with friends, family and my children. I have also referred the love languages to my clients.

These are the 5 love languages, according to Gary Chapman:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Physical Touch
3. Giving and Receiving gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Acts of service

As all of the above languages in the list talk for themselves, I wanted to share this with all of you, because it may be helpful to strengthen your relationships. But, as always I strongly believe that it all starts with us. Being able to love and nurture the child within all of us, will help us expand our horizons in terms of using our favorite love language with others.

I hope this newsletter/blog article will get you to research more on this topic and deepen your connections.

Wishing you peace and happiness!

Until next time, keep tapping!

Meenakshi.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. – Robert Morley

Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other, and in the process, care for ourselves. – Diana, Princess of Wales

In my humble opinion, I feel self love is the highest form of self care. Some of you may be familiar with “The Mirror Work” exercise by Louise Hay. It is a simple exercise that she encourages everyone to do on a daily basis, which is practice saying “I love you” when looking in the mirror. You can also do this by inserting your name at the end.

“I love you (Insert your name)”

So, this week, I encourage all of you to practice this simple yet powerful exercise every time you look in a mirror. At first, you may not remember to do this on a regular basis. But, setting an intention to practice this self love exercise can have a profound influence on how we look at ourselves, which in turn can shift many areas of our life.

In EFT tapping, when we say the statement, “I love and accept myself”, initially we are not in alignment with the idea. The statement may feel false and phony for some of us. I have heard clients say, “But, I don’t love and accept myself”. After working on themselves for some time, they become more comfortable with the statement.

Author and speaker, Cheryl Richardson, who is also a huge proponent of tapping, writes in her book, “The Art of Extreme Self Care”, that initially when she began this Mirror exercise, she noticed more of her flaws, like the lines on her face, grey hairs and it was very difficult for her to practice this exercise. So, she went on doing this exercise for 30 days and towards the end she noticed that it got a lot easier and also realized that this was not a silly exercise.

So, whether you are tapping or doing the mirror exercise to love and accept yourself, give yourself time and send love, kindness and compassion to the part of you, that may be judging, bullying and criticizing you with a punitive voice. My mentor has taught that judgment of the self can be harsh and self love is the antidote to heal this wounded part of us.

Wishing you peace and happiness!

Until next time,

Keep tapping!

Meenakshi.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. – Lao Tzu

I finally got myself to write a blog and newsletter after a couple of weeks. I have personally struggled over the years to be organized and put together a plan in place. Somehow, diving in and going with the flow has become a pervasive pattern for me over the years and I’m still trying to relieve myself from the clutches of judgment and doubt. I’m beginning to realize more and more that life is a work in progress and I’m a work in progress.

Releasing Clutter

If you have been planning to declutter your home, office, closet, drawer or your purse, and feel challenged, I encourage you to send love to that part of you that has been holding on to the clutter for a long time. When we begin to embrace that part of us that wants to hold on to the clutter, we begin to break free of judgment and create some positive traction towards our goal. If you are still having a hard time letting go, ask yourself,” What emotion is holding me back from decluttering?” When we get an answer to this question, that takes us one step further towards your goal. The idea of doing this is to relieve ourselves of the mental and emotional clutter that is clogging our energy body, and releasing the constriction. As Marie Kondo says, “It may even lead us to own only the things that spark joy.”

Practicing gratitude

As we move from celebrating Diwali, the festival of lights towards Thanksgiving, tapping is a great way to turbo charge our thank you statements. Whatever we are thankful for, we give new life by anchoring gratitude into our energy body.

Appreciating Abundance

When clients talk about their problems during sessions, they would also say things like, “But, I’m also very grateful”. When you begin to look at what we don’t want and what is not working for us, we begin to create space for what we do want and what is working for us. But, it always starts with acknowledging the negative, feeling safe being present with our emotions, and not rush and go to the power of positive thinking.

Put your hands on your heart, ask a question, and listen to the answer. From that place, every thing can seem possible as you go into a state of allowing and not resisting. Practicing gratitude and appreciating abundance can become an unconscious process.

Wishing you peace and happiness!

Until next time, keep tapping!

Meenakshi.

This week I choose to write about what happens when we get into talking and share our powerful stories, especially the ones from the past. Our nervous systems are conditioned by our stories and life experiences, as it is a barometer for us to gauge where to go and where not to go in terms of making choices and decisions. Having an awareness of when we are caught up in our stories is the first step to shifting from being a victim to a victor.

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. – Deepak Chopra

“I choose to be a pioneer of the future and release being a prisoner of the past.” This is a statement I have right above my desk and it is a constant reminder for me to let go off the past and move towards the future.

We are wired to remember the disempowering stories than the moments where we truly felt empowered. Tapping is a great tool to turn to condition our body and mind, because it really helps us get out of the prison of the past and prepares us to be a pioneer of the future.

Years ago, before I stumbled upon tapping, when someone approached me with their problems, I actively listened to them, held a space for them where they felt heard and offered emotional support. I would do the best I can with whatever resources I had at that time. Looking back, I feel the truth is I really didn’t know how to help them. Sometimes, when I followed up after two or three weeks later, not much would have changed in their life and we will end up talking about their disempowering experiences or how they were victimized once again. I’m also a firm believer that the solutions for our problems are always within us. Our own intuition, guidance and inner wisdom will direct us to the solutions.

Research shows that by talking about the problem over and over again, strengthens the neural circuitry and neural bundles in the pathway, making it even harder to counter condition the individual. I have experienced this myself and also seen this happen time and time again when I try to listen to someone’s problems and help them. If I’m not aware I can easily get caught up in the old pattern of thinking, believing and reacting. Those are the moments I return to tapping to get myself centered and anchored and also to take an inventory of what is going well in my life.

There is really nothing wrong in owning our stories and talking or sharing about them. But, when we feel emotionally triggered and looking for answers, tapping will really help us break free, get unhooked from the issue, whether it is physical, mental or emotional, by taking the edge off and reducing the intensity of the issue. From that place, we can create an opening for infinite possibilities.

Wishing you peace and happiness!

Until next time, keep tapping!

This week I thought of sharing about how you can use tapping without worrying about what to say while tapping. This process is called energy toning. This idea of energy toning or continuous tapping was developed by EFT Practitioners Steve Wells and Dr. David Lake in their SET or Simple Energy Technique system.

All you need to do is just tap on all the points for a few minutes without saying any words. When you do this process, you can either be tuned into an event or memory, or a bodily sensation like tightness, discomfort or heaviness in any area of your body. If you have nothing to focus on that particular day, you can still tap to maintain your energy hygiene. The moment you begin to tap, you begin to move the stuck energy in your energy body. You may be able to experience a sense of calm, peace and hope after a few rounds. I have experienced this for myself, working in groups during classes and also during private sessions with clients.

I recommend setting a timer on your phone for five minutes and begin this process of toning your energy body. All of us can definitely take five minutes from our busy schedule and do this process. The reason I’m called to write about this is because, I’m always asked what to say while tapping for a certain issue and how to come up with the statements. Also, I always encourage clients to tap in between sessions. Some of them come back and say that they didn’t tap since the last session. If you are reading this and if you are someone who has tapped with me, I gently nudge you to get back to your tapping routine. You can do this while you are watching TV, taking a walk or talking on the phone. You can do this several times during the day.

If you haven’t done any tapping for some time, hope this will motivate you to begin tapping.

Until next time, keep tapping!

Wishing you health and happiness!

Meenakshi